Sometimes, it feels like life would be easier if it could be done alone, without worrying about social connections. There are times when you don’t have the time to make new friends or sustain relationships with current friends. People move, interests change, life gets in the way, and friendships take a back seat to other priorities.
There is a peace that comes from not having to talk to anyone, of not having to hear anyone’s opinion of you, of not having to explain yourself, and of not having to meet anyone’s expectations. But, fortunately, humans were not created to do life alone. In fact, studies have shown we are happier and healthier when we do life with other people. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, a study that began in 1938 and has tracked 724 boys into their late 90s now, concludes that social connections are one of the most important factors for people’s happiness and health. The director of the study stated the ones who had warm relationships lived longer and happier, and the ones without those relationships died earlier.
Having people around is important both physically and mentally. From the mental aspect, people can increase your sense of purpose and belonging, boost your happiness, help you cope with life, and encourage you. Of course, this doesn’t mean all people. We all have those people in our lives who seem to exist just to bring everyone around them down. No, I’m talking about good people. Your definition of good may be different than mine, but I am talking about the kind of people who care about you and are invested in your well-being, who want to help you grow and who want to see you healthy and happy.
Life situations bring us down, and sometimes there are life circumstances that we can’t seem to escape. People who are not good for you often suck the life right out of you and bring you down further because, as the old saying goes, “Misery loves company.” Good people, however, help you look at the positive aspects of life even in the darkest circumstances. They encourage you and walk with you, sharing the burden you carry. And they motivate you to have hope. Having people around you also helps you make better decisions because they help you weed out bad ideas and reinforce good ideas.
Surrounding yourself with the right people encourages growth. It’s easy to find those people who are like you, and we are often attracted to “like” people because they make us feel comfortable. There is nothing wrong with that. Those are the people who understand your perspective because they often see things the same way. Or they are the ones who can relate because they have similar experiences. But people who are too much like you can keep you from growing. It’s the people who challenge you that help you expand your thinking and question your beliefs. People with different perspectives force you to stretch, and sometimes it is uncomfortable, but it is necessary if you want to grow. And that person in your life who makes you happy and crazy at the same time, driving you to feel every emotion on the spectrum? As long as it is a healthy relationship, that crazy-happy relationship is good for you.
Physically, because having people around makes you feel included, it gives you a sense of purpose and belonging and that helps lower your cortisol level, which lowers stress, which decreases the risk of cardiovascular disease. And let’s face it, nobody really wants to feel lonely. It is one thing to be alone and another to be lonely. When you feel too lonely, you can become depressed. And depression leads to a slew of other physical conditions and an overall poor physical and emotional well-being.
Humans are social beings. We were created to do life with other people. So even when it seems hard to make new friends or sustain the friendships you already have, make the time! Surround yourself with good people and see how much better life is when you allow others to be in it.