A couple of years ago, I honestly felt like I was walking through Heaven and Hell at the same time. I often had thoughts like, “I’m not good enough,” “I shouldn’t be here,” “my friends hate me,” “I will never find a girlfriend,” and “I wish I was never born.” I had great friends and my family was supportive. My family was always there for me, but I was often hurting on the inside. I joked around a lot, I hung out with friends a lot, went bowling, went on field trips and had a great time. But, having learning disabilities can be very tough and last year was very tough. I did my best for the most part to keep a positive attitude. But, I didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere. I felt trapped in a bubble. Occasionally, I still do.
Having learning disabilities, I often feel trapped because I’m not on as high of a level of learning as normal high school kids. I feel like I get treated like a little kid because I’m at a lower level. I’m in between on learning, but there’s no middle ground so it’s hard. I already know most of the stuff we learn, and then I feel like I can’t reach my full potential because I’m not learning anything new. But I have learned a lot from my experiences and I’m stronger because of the things I’ve struggled with.
I know from personal experience that negative thoughts will absolutely not help you. They will make it way worse, and no matter how hard it is you have to keep those thoughts out of your head. Instead, think thoughts like, “this will get better,” “I need to keep positive,” “I should see if my friends want to hang out,” “we should watch a family movie,” “we should see a comedy,” “we should go to the zoo,” “we should go bowling,” “I should talk to my friends and get some advice.” Those are all things you should be thinking. It’s also not a good idea to have the mindset that you’re just trying to make it through life.